Uncover your team’s higher purpose through storytelling
Too many “mission statements” or “team charters” devolve into buzzwords & gobbledy gook. The antidote? Find the “golden thread” woven through your stories of pride.
- Practice Difficulty: medium
- Duration: 90 minutes to 3 – 5 hours
- Perfect for: team retreats, life transitions, existential malaise
- Why it works: based on the ancient process of human storytelling around a fire, instead of typical boardrooms and baloney. Finds purpose in stuff you already do, instead of aspirational futurecasting.
- How to get started: read this guidebook or skip to the prompt questions below.
This practice is based on a curriculum developed by Simon Sinek, author of Start With Why and creator of the most-watched TED talk ever. It works for individuals, teams, or whole organizations. The TED talk and book exude some Silicon Valley “thought leader”-ish hubris, but don’t let the packaging fool you. This process is refreshingly simple, grounded, and occasionally life-changing.
The reason it’s so powerful is that its based entirely on human storytelling, either in pairs or small groups — which people instinctively love. Participants tell stories to each other about moments where they felt pride at work, and then uncover shared connections and patterns that run across their stories. Out of that work, the coach or facilitator helps draw out a “golden thread” that runs through everyone’s stories. This reveals the group’s “Why,” it’s higher purpose or shared meaning. The same basic process works for whole organizations, teams, or individuals.
Why it’s great for teams
I’ve found the group exercise to be incredibly effective as a real, no bullshit team-building exercise — it’s infinitely more powerful than the usual “trust falls and relay races” schtick. It allows people to be seen and heard in ways that are rare at work, and make their own connections between their own individual passions and those of the group. By the end, the team comes away with a powerful human foundation for their work together. And the process is as valuable as the end result, boosting team members’ sense of culture and belonging — and giving them a clear north star they can use to orient their work going forward. Best of all: it feels like their own idea, instead of someone else’s idea foisted on them.
Why it’s great for individuals
For individuals, I’ve found this practice to be particularly effective when you’re in a moment of life transition or uncertain about where you want to go next. It’s also helpful for those of us who struggle to tell our personal story in a crisp way to others — which is especially hard if you’re an introvert (like me), a hybrid (good at a few different things fused together), or an innovator (e.g, your parents have no clue what you do.)
It can also be an effective remedy against impostor syndrome; by reflecting on standout moments in your life, you begin to see the real contribution you’ve made to to others.
How to get started
The essential manual for this practice is Simon Sinek’s book Find Your Why. It lays out the process in clear detail — I can’t recommend it highly enough. (In my opinion, it’s better to skip the first Start With Why book and go straight to this second one — it’s much more practical and focused on how to actually do it.)
The basic process works like this: jot down some stories about moments that stand out from your life. “To uncover our WHY we must bring together our standout memories—our defining moments. The more specific the memories, the better.”
The key: 1) be specific and 2) focus on feelings
As the book explains, an easy mistake to make it to be too vague or generic with your stories:
For example: “Our family took a driving vacation every summer”—nope, that’s too general to be helpful.
Versus this: “Our family always took driving vacations. One year the car broke down in the desert, and we had to hitchhike to Albuquerque. I was seriously scared, but I remember thinking that I needed to be strong so that my younger sister wouldn’t be scared as well, so I made up a game to entertain us”—this is the kind of specific detail you’ll need!
See the difference? “What’s important is the specific details you remember and the strong emotion you feel as you tell the story to someone else. Rediscovering the details, the feelings, the conversations, the lessons learned will offer clues to who you are and what your WHY is.”
For many of us, identifying feelings can be difficult — we end up inadvertently describing thoughts instead. Consult this list to keep you honest and on track.
Story prompts for individuals
Here’s some questions, excerpted from Find Your Why, to use as prompts for your individual stories. Come up with as many specific memories as you can, then pick the 5 or 6 stories that stand out most. You can write them down long form, or just as bullet points — but be specific, and focus on how you felt in those moments.
- Think of your best day at work. A day when, as you headed home, you might have said to yourself: “I would have done that for free.”
- Think of your worst day at work—the kind of day you hope never to go through again. What happened?
- Who in your life has helped make you the person you are today? (coach, mentor, teacher, family member?)
- What is one of the earliest, specific, happy childhood memories that comes to your mind?
- At school, what was an experience you loved?
- What has been a pivotal moment in your life, one when you realized nothing would ever be the same? What happened that changed the way you think about the world and your role in it?
- What was a time when you gave of yourself to help someone else, after which you felt unbelievably good—like you had done something that mattered?
- What have you accomplished that you’re really proud of? (Make a mental note of who else was involved. For example, who helped you, who cheered you on, who was waiting for you at the finish line?)
Story prompts for teams
When doing the Find Your Why exercise with groups or organizations, the key ingredient is simple: you’re looking for stories of pride. You want to collect stories about specific moments where people felt proud about their work. So the master question might look something like:
Describe a moment when you felt really proud to work here. What happened? What made it special?
Other follow-on questions you can throw into the mix:
- “Think back to when you first joined the organization. What inspired you to join? What inspires you to keep coming back?”
- Describe your best day at work ever. What set it apart?
- Who’s one of your favorite clients or customers? Why? What makes them special or different from others?
- Describe a moment when your work really helped someone. What was your contribution to them? Why was that valuable for them?
Finding the “golden thread”
Once you have your stories, your coach or facilitator’s job is to help you find the key themes or golden threads that run through them. Some of these themes will matter more than others. Some will turn out be merely “Hows” (how you like to work), and a smaller subset will be juicier “Whys,” the underlying force that propels you as an individual or group.
Once you’ve got those key themes, your next task is to pull out the two key ingredients that make up your Why Statement:
- What do you contribute to the lives of others?
- What is the impact of that contribution?
The guidebook offers several great examples and digs into deeper detail, but those are the essential steps in the process.
‘Finding My Why’ with Matt as my facilitator was one of the best things I’ve ever done. He guided me on a journey to the deepest expressions of who I am. It was life-changing.
–Sam Dyson
Want some help?
I’ve had the pleasure of coaching several teams and individuals through this process, and it’s incredibly rewarding. Please get in touch if you have questions. I can facilitate a Group Why process for your team or organization, or coach you through an Individual Why discovery process. The process can take as little as 90 minutes, or can be spread over multiple days, depending on your needs.
Get in touch
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